I always thought the saying was,
The King is dead.
Long live the King.
It never made sense to me. This year, last year, I learned I had been saying it wrong all these years. Last year, Queen Elizabeth passed away after one of the longest reigns in history. My friend who lives in Scotland told me remarked to me
The Queen is dead.
Long live the King.
So, it depends on who was the reigning monarch and who was the next monarch. That makes more sense.
When I was in eighth grade, I really like Edgar Allen Poe poetry and stories. He wrote in his poem, “The Haunted Palace,”
Round about a throne where, sitting
(Porphyrogene!)
I spent a lot of time looking up that word. There was no internet back in the 1970s. Prophyrogene is a word that Poe made up based on the actual word porphyrogenite. (Thank you Oxford English Dictionary) A porphyrogenite is a person who was born while their parent was the reigning monarch. King Charles was literally a porphyrogenite, as were his siblings. His own children, Princes Harry and William are not.
Lots of things changed in 2022. Just as lots of things change every year. Just as many things will change next year.
I switched careers last year. At least I hope I did. You’ll see a lot more writing from me this year. And hopefully we’ll all make 2023 a better year than 2022 was.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
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I remember a tough time as a parent. It was the junior high science fair. My two boys had both submitted science projects. Did you know that some science fairs are actually competitions? Most of them are.
The problem was that one of my boys won a medal for his project. . .and his brother did not. At 13 years old, that’s a tough thing for one them to take. And as parents we were stuck sharing in the success of one son while also trying to console the other.
I don’t think everyone should get a trophy, but it’s a lot easier on the emotions when they do. I’m naturally proud of both my sons. (Well, ALL my sons since these two also had three other brothers.) My children have competed in sports, beauty pageants (I also have 8 daughters), for scholarships, for bragging rights and many other things.
It’s part growing up, the learning to try and fail. And try and succeed. As a parent, we have to also learn. Learn to back off and let the child win or lose on their own.
I’m a writer. I write stories. Those stories are like my children in many ways. I craft those stories. I care deeply about them. I do my best to make them the best I possibly can. And then, there are times when it’s time to send them out into the world. Sometimes to be considered for publications. Sometimes to be considered for contests. Sometimes to be shared online.
The point is that as a writer I have to send my babies out on their own. And emotionally, I live and die with the stories in hands of editors and judges.
Did I mention that it’s time to submit for the fourth quarter of Writers of The Future?
Yeah, baby is about to grow up.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
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or email him at rbliss at msn dot com(c) 2022 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved
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I’m writing a short story. (Well, duh, I’m a writer. I’m ALWAYS writing a something.) It’s a science fiction short story. Science fiction is an interesting genre. We have to provide enough difference to excite the reader. They have to believe in space travel or aliens, or time travel. It also has to be familiar enough that the reader can relate. (Have you ever noticed that almost all aliens speak English?)
In my story, I need to discuss time and space. It is, after all, a story set in space and the story has to move from the beginning to the middle to the end.
I had to decide how to inform the reader about time. I didn’t want to use earth measurements. I came up with several in-universe measurements. As my hero is waiting to see if he was going to be rescued, he counted the time in heartbeats and breaths. The dangerous unpredictable spaceship was rotating around the planet. Time could be measured in orbits.
Sizes were another issue. The two ships were an arms length apart. The hallway was wide enough for five people to walk side-by-side. The lock was two hand widths wide. The alien captain’s chair was up to his shoulder.
The story is called “The Curse Of The Crazies.” I just sent it to the editor. It should be available in October. When you read it, hopefully it will be entertaining, maybe a little scary, and certainly will sound foreign.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
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or email him at rbliss at msn dot com(c) 2022 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved
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Two days ago I suggested that chess is sexist, because of the king’s role.
Yesterday I suggested that chess is not sexist, but is instead, progressive, because of the queen’s power.
Today, I want to explain how chess, a game that has distinct roles for the male and female lead characters, is very much a metaphor for traditional gender roles in a relationship.
If I can digress from logic and instead quote scripture,
“Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”
– 1 Corinthians 11:11
Many people consider many religious factions sexist. There’s never been a female pope, and in the Catholic church there cannot be. In my own denomination, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called the Mormons) the leader of the church, is a man. The church hierarchy does not allow for a woman to be the promoted to the office of president.
American society recognizes same-sex marriages. And I’m okay with that. This post is not about heterosexual relationship at the expense of homosexual relationships. In fact, that dynamic is pretty limited. Those are not the only two choices. My sister adopted three children from foster care as a single woman. We also have widows and widowers. Polyamorous relationships. My cousin, a man is married to a trans man. I was at their wedding.
But I want to talk about male/female relationships.
Chess is a great metaphor, not just because it represents a king and a queen, but the fact that they have such different roles. You couldn’t play the game with two kings, nor with two queens. The two most important pieces on the board are balanced.
Like a socket set.
Go with me on this one. I’m a backyard mechanic. I have a fairly nice socket set. There are all kinds of different sockets, 1/4″, 3/8th”, 1/2″, even 3/4″ drive. Short sockets. Long sockets. Impact sockets. Chrome sockets. Six point sockets. Twelve point sockets. I have a pretty good set of most of them.
I also have socket wrenches to match them. Here’s the thing, what good is a socket wrench? It’s important. It’s vital. You cannot do car repairs without it. Suppose I announced that my socket wrenches are all I need. I don’t need balance. You’d say I’m crazy. A socket wrench with no sockets is just a very poor hammer.
What about the other way? Suppose I just wanted to use my sockets, but I decided “I don’t need the wrench. The sockets are good enough for me!” Again, you’d say I was crazy. (Okay, you may say that anyway.)
The point is that a socket wrench and an actual socket are two very different tools. Both are vital. One cannot be used without the other. And neither is more important than the other.
They perfectly illustrate how the king and the queen in a chess game are different, but equally important. Likewise, my lovely wife and I have different roles in our home. Neither is more important. Both are vital. And we couldn’t do without both.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
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or email him at rbliss at msn dot com(c) 2022 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved
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In yesterday’s post I talked about how Chess Is Sexist. . .mostly because of the king.
But after considering it, I’ve decided not only is chess not sexist, it’s actually progressive. Imagine people 1400 years ago in India affirming the role of women.
It’s the chess queen that holds the real power on the board. The pawns can move one square (two at the beginning.) Bishops can move diagonally, but must stay on their own color. Rooks can move horizontally, but only along their row or column. Knights. . .well, knights are weird, but they can only move that weird 2-1 or 1-2 sequence. The queen, though. The queen can move like a pawn. She can move like a rook. She can move like a bishop. She can even choose to move like the king.
One of the worst setbacks in chess is the idea of losing your queen early in the game. And should your pawn make it all the way across the board, you can exchange the pawn for a piece of your choice. Every game I’ve ever seen, the piece of choice is another queen. A player with two queens and no other pieces would probably do fairly well against an opponent with an entire set of pieces.
Why the queen? Why make the queen the most power piece on the board? Not just most powerful, but extremely more powerful. The chess queen is not some shrinking maiden who needs to be protected. She’s more like the Viking Shield Maiden, more than holding her own against the forces of her enemies.
The chess queen is an example of what our daughters and our sisters should aspire to. Someone able to stand up for herself. Able to not just compete, but excel in no matter what she does. When I think about my lovely wife, I know that I would do much worse without her at my side.
You can learn a lot from chess.
Tomorrow I’ll explain how chess is neither sexist nor progressive.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
Follow him on
Twitter (@rodneymbliss)
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or email him at rbliss at msn dot com(c) 2022 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved
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Chess is one of the oldest games in existence. It was invented in India about 1400 years ago. It’s a simple game to learn. A near impossible game to master. And a game in which you can’t cheat. (Well, not really.)
I enjoy playing chess. Recently, with the effort to erase past evidence of bias, I thought about chess. And I’m convinced that chess is sexist. Think about the game. The weakest piece on the board is the King. I guess you can suggest that the pawns are not as strong as the kind. Still, a pawn that reaches the opposite side of the board gets promoted. The pawn can literally be piece given enough time. Any piece except a king.
Chess allows for multiple queens. But there can only be one king. And despite his weakness, the king must be protected at all costs. If the king is threatened, no other move is allowed except one that protects the king.
Have you ever considered that the king is never actually captured? Ever other piece on the board faces the prospect of being captured and removed from the board. The king never yields. Once the king is trapped and has no way of escape, the game is over.
The purpose of the other 15 pieces on the board are in all ways to protect the king, or to attack the opposing king. The kings are the ultimate piece, and yet they are weak and can barely limp around the board one square at a time. Even the pawns’ initial move can be two squares.
Clearly the creators of chess felt the need to elevate the king above all the pieces, and still acknowledge that it’s the weakest piece.
Check back tomorrow and I’ll show you how chess is an incredibly progressive game in terms of gender.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
Follow him on
Twitter (@rodneymbliss)
Facebook (www.facebook.com/rbliss)
LinkedIn (www.LinkedIn.com/in/rbliss)
or email him at rbliss at msn dot com(c) 2022 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved
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I have a deadline this week. I’ve known about it for weeks. Like many writers, I’m a great procrastinator. I wasn’t procrastinating. I was hurting. Literally.
Sciatica. Literally a pain in the butt.
It’s getting better. What’s not getting better is the pain from sitting. I decided I needed to make a change. A few 2x2s and a sheet of 3/4″ plywood and I had my new standing desk.
The lower system is a Dell laptop with two external monitors, an external camera, a Plantronics 810 wireless headset, a Microsoft ergonomic keyboard and a really expensive crazy ergonomic mouse.
The upper system is a Microsoft Surface with the same keyboard and mouse setup as the bottom, and another camera.
I use Dropbox to share files between the two. I sit when it’s comfortable and when it gets too painful, I stand up.
Louis L’Amore said that he could write with his typewriter propped on his knees in the middle of Santa Monica Boulevard. This isn’t a typewriter and my office is a long way from Santa Monica. Writing isn’t about finding the perfect setup so you can write. It’s about figuring out how to write despite the challenges that life sends your way.
I finished the story I was writing and I’ll send it in tomorrow. With a whole day to spare before the deadline.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
Follow him on
Twitter (@rodneymbliss)
Facebook (www.facebook.com/rbliss)
LinkedIn (www.LinkedIn.com/in/rbliss)
or email him at rbliss at msn dot com(c) 2022 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved
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Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book
– Cicero
While my times haven’t been great, I’m not here to talk about bad times. And my children are all grown. That just leaves a book.
While I’m continuing to write short stories, I’ve well into planning my next book as well.
Rodney, is it really a “next” book? I thought you were a new fiction author?
It’s true I don’t have a fiction book. But, I did write a book on Microsoft Exchange. You can still find it on Amazon. But, please, don’t buy it. It wasn’t a bad book, but like most technical books, it was obsolete just a few years after it was published back in 1996.
My next book will be a science fiction story. Writing a book is a process. Today I started assembling the team that I’ll work with. I hope to have the rough draft done by the end of February. That will hopefully set us up for a late summer release. I’m not ready to share the name or the story.
Rest assured that when we get closer, y’all will be the first to know.
An editor I respect told me that a first novel might only sell 5 or 10 copies its first year.
Given the support y’all have given me, I think we will surprise them.
Stay tuned.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
Follow him on
Twitter (@rodneymbliss)
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or email him at rbliss at msn dot com(c) 2022 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved
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Steve Jobs along with Steve Wozniak, founded Apple Corporation in 1976. Twenty years later, in 1985, Jobs was fired from Apple. He was later asked, “What did you learn from being fired?”
I learned you should always own 51% of your company.
In other words, if you have a controlling interest, you cannot be fired.
Project managers don’t own their projects, of course. But, just as Jobs lost control of his company, a project manager with insufficient control over his or her project risks losing control of the project.
That’s what happened to me at my last company. The reason I didn’t have control had more to do with my tech lead gaslighting. I was the newest member of the team. Terry, my tech lead had been with the company for years. He gave lip service to me leading the project, but it eventually became obvious that he wanted to be responsible for the project, not me.
What happens when you lose control of your project? For me, it became obvious I wouldn’t be allowed to make a decision. So, I didn’t. I started to defer to Terry in everything. Even things I could have decided on my own, became, “We need to have Terry for that decision.” I also started documenting EVERYTHING. My emails included Terry in everything. There were still times where Terry was gaslighting me. But, by that point I realized my time at the company was coming to an end anyway.
Could I have kept control? Probably not. The company was small. Terry had immense control and whether he realized it or not, he was not interested in letting me have any real control. And as my father used to say, “If you don’t have the authority, you don’t have the responsibility.”
If you find that you cannot own your project, it’s a good idea to cut your losses and tart looking for another position.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
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Twitter (@rodneymbliss)
Facebook (www.facebook.com/rbliss)
LinkedIn (www.LinkedIn.com/in/rbliss)
or email him at rbliss at msn dot com(c) 2022 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved
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gaslighting
gas·?light·?ing
1 : psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator2: the act or practice of grossly misleading someone especially for one’s own advantage(Merriam Webster Online Dictionary)
Would you believe that two years ago I didn’t know the definition of gaslighting? It had never come up. During an online discussion someone accused me of it. I had to go look it up. It’s easy to think of it as simply lying. It’s more than that.
I now know exactly what it means. I’ve lived it for the past 16 months at work. I only realized it in the last couple of months. And once I realized it, I also realized it was time to leave.
I’ve been a program or a project manager for most of my career. I’m good at it. A PM has responsibility to be the translator between the end user, or the customer and the technical or development teams. I describe it as,
Client: I want flying pigs
PM to Development Team: I need animated icons that can move freely about the screen
The client understands flying pigs. The developer understands animated icons. The PM has to be both technical and a good communicator. I could do both. And that’s why I was hired at my last company. It was a small company. My job was to be the project manager working with a large state agency in the state of Florida. I joined a team that had developers in India and my technical resource was Terry. Terry was the senior technical resource for the 12 person company.
I was fortunate to have him as my technical lead. He understood the product better than anyone. And I had the chance to learn everything about the product, and our customer. Lucky me, right?
Not so much.
It took me much longer to learn the product than I was accustomed to. I figured I was getting older and just not picking things up as quickly as I used to. Terry was willing to share information, but he didn’t like to repeat himself and there were times where he assumed I knew things that we had never gone over.
For example, we had a product called postman. It’s a way to simulate a connection between two systems. You load a file into postman and you can send it as if it came from another system. Of course, you have to include all the connection information to the system along with a correctly formatted file.
Terry, how can I get the latest vendor list?
Just use postman. I gave you the install point!
Okay then. I went elsewhere to try to figure out what format and endpoint I needed for the vendor list.
I also started to notice that if Terry and I disagreed, he was always right. At first, that made sense. I didn’t know the product nearly as well as he did. But, eventually, I figured stuff out. That’s when the gaslighting became obvious. During a phone call the client asked for information about a report. Apparently the report we wrote was different than the report in their existing system. Terry assured the client,
Rodney will research that and get you the answer.
Yup. That was my job. So, I dug in and I realized that the client was looking at the wrong report. They were looking at the Account Tab Report. They should have been referencing the Account Tabulation Report. I composed an email with a sample copy of the Account Tabulation Report. I also included a screenshot showing where to access the Account Tabulation Report. I sent it off the client and included Terry.
Yay, I managed to answer that question within an hour. Good job!
Nope.
Terry followed up my email with an email of his own.
I’m sorry Rodney sent you incorrect information. Please ignore his email.
And then, he sent an email to me and included Frank, the owner of our company.
Once again I have to correct you via email. Why would you send this information to the client. Please check with me before you send these to ensure we aren’t giving them wrong information.
A little harsh maybe. The thing is, I wasn’t wrong. I was exactly correct. Eventually Terry figured out that I was correct. He didn’t apologize or even acknowledge his mistake. Instead he made it clear that this was my fault.
Rodney, clearly there is some confusion around the reports. Where are the sample reports located?
Well, some of them are in the Milestone 3 folder. Others are in Milestone 1. And every service ticket has a copy of the report.
That’s not going to work! Move all the sample reports to a single folder. Telling me to go look in three different locations isn’t helpful.
And the strange thing was I hadn’t told him where to look for reports. He’d simply asked where they were. I told him. Just like I had answered the client’s question as he asked. It was at this point that I remembered the definition of gaslighting. It was clear that the reason I was not making progress was that Terry really didn’t want me to. Once I noticed it I started seeing how this had been going on for months.
During a status meeting with the client another team had given me some unexpected praise.
We really want to thank Rodney for his help getting our training material prepared.
That is exactly what a PM loves to hear. That we are making a difference. That we are helping the client. I really didn’t expect to get recognition in front of the stakeholders. You would think Terry would be happy that I was getting results.
Nope.
Rodney, who did you meet with and what did you tell them?
And, again I remembered the definition of gaslighting.
In the last couple of weeks, I’ve started networking again. I’ve been to lunch with some of my former team members. Of course, they asked me about leaving my previous company.
That makes no sense. You are the best PM I’ve worked at.
I let you finish the story, but as soon as you started I realized someone was gaslighting you. Because you are the best I’ve ever seen.
I’m a little embarrassed it took me as long as it did to recognize the gaslighting. But then, that’s part of the power of gaslighting. You convince the person that you’re their friend and trying to help them. Terry was pretty good at it. He kept it up for 16 months.
Stay safe
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. Order Miscellany III A Collection of Holiday Short Stories, an anthology including his latest short story, “You Can Call Me Dan” here
Follow him on
Twitter (@rodneymbliss)
Facebook (www.facebook.com/rbliss)
LinkedIn (www.LinkedIn.com/in/rbliss)
or email him at rbliss at msn dot com(c) 2022 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved