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I Don’t Want To Come Out From Under My Bed

October 10, 2018

Okay, I’m not actually under my bed. But, that’s only because there’s actually not any room under there. But, in my head? Yeah, totally hiding under the bed.

From what, you might ask? Nothing. Everything. I’m not sure. And I know exactly why.

Generalized Anxiety Syndrome.

It sounds fake. Like the name they make up when they can’t find a real reason for some problem or issue.

I discovered it a couple months ago. By that I mean I was finally able to put a name on my actions. I did it by reading an interview that Tom Arnold gave of all people. He explained how Generalized Anxiety Syndrome had made him feel. And I realized that was how I felt. He talked about what he did to combat it and I made a plan. I’m good with plans.

Genalized Anxiety Syndrome is great at screwing up the best laid plans.

I went to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor. I have a great doctor. She’s my family’s doctor. In fact, when I show up, they ask me about my wife. Everyone there knows her. Dr Springer is the doctor for all of my children.

The doctor perscribed an anti-anxiety drug. I took it. It takes a while to work. I gave it a while. It didn’t work.

I went back to the doctor. She told me to take more of the drug. Which is probably good advice. I’m taking more of the drug. It takes a while to work. I’m giving it a while.

In the mean time, I hide under the bed. I get up everyday and hide under the bed. I go to work and hide under the bed. I talk on the phone and hide under the bed. I attend meetings and hide under the bed. I come home and hide under the bed. I go to bed, sleeping on the top and I hide under the bed. And I get up and do it all again as I hide under the bed. It’s not comfortable under the bed. I don’t particularly like it under the bed. It’s dark and a little scary under the bed.

In addition to upping my meds, the doctor told me to get counseling. Actually, she told me this six weeks ago. And I’ve been meaning to get with a counselor. But, I cannot find any of them under the bed.

There are a lot of things that I can’t do under the bed, that I can’t find under the bed. Maybe the therapist can help me climb out from under the bed. Maybe the increased medication will help me climb out from under the bed.

Until then, I’ll just be waiting here. . .under the bed.

Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren.

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(c) 2018 Rodney M Bliss, all rights reserved

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