I’m Sorry I Spoiled Avengers: Infinity War
WARNING: Spoilers ahead — again!
They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance.
– Last words of Union Major-General John Sedgwick just before he was killed by a sharpshooter at the battle of Spotsylvania Court House, May 9th 1864.
As you know, unless you’ve been under a rock for the past ten years, the latest Marvel Universe movie called Avengers: Infinity War opened last weekend.
It was literally the biggest opening in history. It did over $650M worldwide and did $250M in the US alone. Previews were everywhere. Marvel has been building up to it for the past 10 years. People were speculating not just if an Avenger might die, but how many.
Marvel gave us plenty of teasers, right? Why wasn’t Hawkeye in the poster? (Turns out it was because he’s not in the movie. Neither is Antman, Wasp, or Hulk. Seriously, that was awesome!) We’ve been treated to peaks at Thanos, the movie’s villian for years. We finally get to meet him.
From the trailers we also know that Thanos wants to collect all the infinity stones and use them to wipe out half the universe. That’s one of the biggest threats the Avengers or the Guardians of the Galaxy have ever faced.
I don’t mind spoilers. Really, I don’t. I will even sometimes read the spoilers before seeing a movie. I do it so that know if I want to take my kids. But, in the case of Avengers: Infinity War, I decided to refrain. It opened on Thursday, my family was going to see it on Saturday morning.
Friday, I admit I didn’t spend a long time on my post here on this site. I was travelling back from Shreveport, I was tired. I didn’t feel like I had a topic worth ten minutes of your time. But, I also didn’t want to completely avoid posting.
I posted a sort of “throw away” post. Here’s what it said:
INFINITY WAR SPOILER ALERT
What if the big spoiler from “Avengers: Infinity War” is that Thanos aquires all six infinity stones, kills the Avengers and destroys half the universe?
That would be a shocker!
(Seeing it tomorrow)
Imagine my surprise when the big spoiler from “Avengers: Infinity War” turned out to be that Thanos aquired all six infinity stones, killed the Avengers and destroyed half the universe.
Like General Sedgwick said, “I couldn’t hit an elephant from this distance.” I could not have written a more succinct spoiler post if I’d tried. And it was completely unintentional.
After I saw the movie, I had a dilemma. What do I do? Do I remove the post? Do I disavow it? Do I insist that this isn’t what happens?
What would you do? (You probably wouldn’t have phoned in the psot from Friday and thereby avoided the whole issue.)
Finally, I decided to double down. I lied. I posted a follow up comment.
To be clear, I have NOT seen the movie. This is a joke.
I don’t intend to review Avengers: Infinity War. I’ll leave that to my friend Howard of Schlock Mercenary fame. He regularly reviews movies. I will say that I enjoyed the movie. And I really liked the ending. It’s almost Shakespearian in that nearly everyone dies.
It’s what I enjoy about Schlock Mercenary. Howard is also willing to kill off characters.
Marvel certainly showed they are willing to do that.
BTW, sorry again, for spoiling the movie. Honestly, I had no idea what I was talking about.
Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren.
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