The First One Who Gets Mad, Loses

Jim, I just watched my planet be destroyed. I am emotionally compromised.
– Mr Spock

The first one who gets mad, loses.
– Lloyd V Bliss

It was a pivotal scene, remember? James Kirk had to convince Mr. Spock that he was too emotionally unstable to captain the Enterprise. He had to do this by forcing someone who was trained to not show emotion to actually show emotion. He was successful, but it almost killed him.

By losing his temper, Spock had to admit that he was emotionally compromised. He got mad and then he lost.

We have similar situations in our everyday lives. And our lives are WAY harder than piloting a starship. We have spouses that can get on our nerves, kids who won’t give up an issue until someone starts yelling, coworkers who have annoying habits, or disagree disagreeably.

It’s fun to “pop off.” To “let them have it.” A heated conversation gets our blood pumping and the fight or flight response kicks in and since we cannot run away from our jobs, or kids or spouse, we give into the release of getting angry.

And in every single case, as soon as we do that, we lose. It doesn’t matter the context. If you end up screaming at your kid because they’ve broken curfew one to many times and want to give you some attitude about it, you lose. If you get angry at your spouse because he went out and bought ANOTHER video game even though you aren’t sure if the rent money will be there, you lose. If you yell that your boss is being unreasonable, you lose.

The man who can keep his temper has an immense advantage over the man who can’t.
– Rodney Bliss

It does little good to know that you need to keep your temper and lose it anyway. But, knowing is the first step. If you can learn to channel that adrenaline into resolving the issue, or at least pursuing a solution, you both win.

And that is really the goal.

Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren. 

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