Rodney M Bliss

Problems That Aren’t Problems Elsewhere

It wasn’t really a problem. It was actually just an inconvenience. Honestly, probably not even inconvenience. More of an annoyance.

A couple days ago my lovely wife broke a rule that I have for my kids. They were quick to point out to her that she broke the rule. It’s not a rule for her. But, she showed why it’s a rule for the kids.

Don’t leave the kitchen while you are cooking.

It seems obvious, right? I mean, if you are cooking then you need to be there to. . .well, cook. But, pasta requires 9-11 minutes to cook. Sauces, require even more. Raman, which I’m not even convinced is really food, “cooks” in just a few minutes.

Now, my rule isn’t unreasonable. If you are baking something. If you put something in the crockpot. Even if you put something on a low simmer. Sure. But, when you are cooking something, actively cooking it, you should stay in the room.

Every outrageous law exists because someone actually tried it.

Of course, there’s a reason for my rule. My son, I don’t want to say which one, but he was the one most opposed to the “stay in the kitchen” suggestion, put a pan of ramen on. And then he went to the mall. I was in the garage. The smoke alarms do NOT sound enough like “your house is filling up with smoke, you’d better get in there.” No, from the garage they sound more like, “Hey, someone left their alarm clock on. . .again.”

We didn’t set off the smoke alarms this most recent time. And it wasn’t a pot of ramen, it was a pot of boiled chicken. My lovely wife was cooking up some chicken that had thawed out. And she was boiling it. And the “bubbles” were a lot deeper than she thought.

Anyway, it burned and filled the house with a little smoke and a lot of stink. We did what everyone does in this case. We opened the front and back door and the windows. We turned on ceiling fans and bathroom fans. And then we waited for the smell to clear out.

It’s been very smokey here in Utah of the past few weeks. Fortunately, most of the forest fire smoke has cleared out. And after about an hour or so, the smell had cleared out enough to shut the doors and windows.

And that’s when the problem showed up.

Flies.

Flies have been around for longer than people. And as long as people have been around they’ve been trying to keep flies out of their houses. We don’t have screen doors anymore. Instead we have air conditioning. We don’t open the doors to cool off the house. In fact, we keep them shut to keep it cool.

We had dozens of flies in our house. They were. . .annoying. Not really bothering anything. In fact, many of them took up residence on our cathedral ceilings. But, it bugged me.

I went on a bug hunt. I started tracking the flies and killing them one by one. If you try to “swat” a fly with your hand, it actually helps the fly get away. Your hand presses a wave of air in front of it. The fly simply let’s go and flies away on the wave.

To effectively kill flies with your hands start with your hands spread wide apart and bring them toward the fly slowly from opposite sides. When your hands are about 9 inches apart quickly slap them together. The fly will attempt to fly away and fly right up in between your hands.

Oh, and then go wash your hands, flies are pretty dirty.

And that has annoyed me for the last two days. I’m still finding flies. But, I think they are afraid of me. They are avoiding me.

But, many places a single fly in your home is not only not an annoyance, inconvenience or problem, it’s not even noticeable.

Stay safe

Rodney M Bliss is an author, columnist and IT Consultant. His blog updates every weekday. He lives in Pleasant Grove, UT with his lovely wife, thirteen children and grandchildren.

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